The Most Gruesome Ways Pirates Killed People

Forget the charming rogues from the movies—real pirates weren’t exactly handing out invitations to a life of adventure. More like a ticket to being brutally thrown overboard! Sure, the hooks, peg legs, and eyepatches seem like fun pirate accessories, but they were basically the result of pirate “team-building exercises” gone terribly wrong. Captains kept their crews in line with the threat of painful, gruesome deaths—and if you were unlucky enough to be caught by them? Let’s just say their idea of “hospitality” involved a lot less rum and a lot more torture. Weird History is here to remind us that swashbuckling on the high seas was less ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and more ‘Pirates of the Please Don’t Kill Me!’

[Weird History]





Today’s Hottest Deals: Funko! Pop Comic Cover Spock and Deadpool, LEGO Tranquil Zen Garden, 25-in-1 Small Pro Precision Screwdriver Set, and MORE!

Funko Deals

For today’s edition of “Deal of the Day,” here are some of the best deals we stumbled on while browsing the web this morning! Please note that Geeks are Sexy might get a small commission from qualifying purchases done through our posts. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

–Funko! Pop Comic Cover: Star Trek #1 – Spock – $19.99 $13.99

–Funko Pop! Comic Cover: Marvel – Deadpool (2025) #1 Deadpool in Black Suit – $24.99 $16.99

–LEGO Icons Tranquil Japanese Zen Garden Creative Building Set – $109.99 $87.99

–Rubies Inflatable Dinosaur Costume For Adults – $94.99 $32.19

–Rubie’s Men’s Deluxe Shazam Adult Costume – $55.99 $12.06

–25-in-1 Small Pro Precision Screwdriver Set / Repair Tool Kit – $9.99 $6.59

–Hallmark Keepsake Star Wars: Return of the Jedi Jabba the Hutt Ornament With Sound and Motion – $49.99 $22.95

–Rii RK100+ Multiple Color Rainbow LED Backlit Large Size USB Wired Keyword – $14.99 $11.99

–HEADWAY (Premium Lifetime License): Learn on the go in 15 minutes or less! – $299.95 $44.99 (Use Promo Code HEADWAY at Checkout)

–Microsoft Office Professional Plus 2019 for Windows – $24.97

–1minAI: Lifetime Subscription – Why choose between ChatGPT, Midjourney, GoogleAI, and MetaAI when you could get them all in one tool? – $234.00 $39.99

–DEWALT Stud Finder, 3/4”, Locate Framing Studs Efficiently with LED Arrows – $31.03 $11.97

CELEBRATE LOUD AND PROUD: IT’S INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!

Caps Lock Day

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY! TODAY IS THE DAY WE SHOUT IN UNISON AND CELEBRATE ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED (AND BEFUDDLING) INTERNET TRADITIONS: TYPING EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPS FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON!

International Caps Lock Day was first celebrated in 2000, and because we just couldn’t get enough, another was added on June 28 in honor of the late, great, ALL-CAPS LOVING “INFOMERCIAL KING” BILLY MAYS.

In 2020, Google said “enough is enough” and removed the caps lock key from Chromebooks, replacing it with a search key—because let’s be honest, that’s what most of us should have been using in the first place. Now, if you really want to scream via keyboard, you’ve got to work for it by pressing multiple keys. But hey, the next generation hardly even uses capital letters anymore! Who knew we’d swing from shouting to whispering in texts?

But today, we honor those brave souls who embraced ALL CAPS LIFE. Let’s remember the era when every email, forum post, and MySpace comment was a blaring declaration of… something. And to all the grandpas out there still trapped in caps lock mode, we salute you!

TURN IT OFF IF YOU CAN, BUT IF NOT, JUST ROLL WITH IT.

And now, here’s a video tribute to Billy Mays:

Image generated via Stable Diffusion.

[Via Neatorama]