Did you know that naming your cow could actually make her more productive? Forget the cows’ names in “Charlotte’s Web,” because the key to more milk is a little tender loving care and, apparently, a good moniker. A 2009 study revealed that a cow with a name and a personalized touch gives more milk than a nameless moo machine.

But, the weirdness doesn’t stop there. Let’s get one thing straight: Milk is weird. We’re talking about a sugary substance—lactose—that only appears naturally in one place… milk. The rest of the natural world, from honey to maple syrup, has other sugars like glucose. But milk? It’s got this biochemical riddle called lactose that needs a special enzyme (lactase) to digest.

Humans have been chugging this peculiar beverage for thousands of years, but it hasn’t always been a smooth sip. The ancient Romans? Not exactly milk’s biggest fans—unless they were under the weather or broke. They preferred yogurt and cheese instead. Fast forward to the 18th century, and milk went from questionable to downright sketchy. Enter swill milk, which was far from pure. This stuff came from cows fed with leftover grain mixed with chalk, flour, and whatever else they could find. Let’s just say it wasn’t exactly the cream of the crop.

But it all changed with the Industrial Revolution (thank you, modern dairy farms!). So, next time you sip on a glass of moo juice, just know it’s had quite the bumpy, and bizarre, history.

Check out the full video to dive deep into the “moo”-ving history of milk! Ok, yeah, I’m sorry about this one, it’s quite bad.