For your daily “why we are all going to die” news, we have this story from the ’90s, in which a young boy, attempting to earn a Boy Scout badge, becomes an irradiated, tentacled monster.  The last part is false, but if this kid isn’t a supervillain by now, we’ve all been lied to.

How did he manage to do this, you ask?  With the help of authorities, of course.  That’s right: in order to figure out how to successfully concoct his maniacal plans, this kid simply  called up experts on the issues and asked for help with “a report.”

The article is fascinating.  For relatively cheap, this guy acquired enough smoke detectors and batteries to extract irradiated materials strong enough to set off his Geiger counter from five houses away.  I was planning on sleeping tonight.

[Via Dangerous Laboratories ]