Kohler is not playing around. Toilets are serious business, and golden throne jokes aside, the company’s new Numi model–a high-tech bidet–was designed for royalty.

Equipped with heated seat and foot warmer, a sound system and various water temperature and spray pattern controls, there aren’t really many things the Numi bidet can’t do. If it’s self-cleaning, I’m saving up my allowance. I just hope it’s still in production by the time I do $6,400 worth of chores.

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