By Mark O’Neill
Contributing Writer, [GAS]

Let this be a lesson to everyone – if you ever plan to take a fake sickie from work, don’t have your boss as your Facebook buddy.  Either that or don’t brag about your fake illness in your Facebook updates.

This is the harsh reality that Kyle D. is learning after he decided to call in sick after getting completely drunk the previous night.   But instead of doing the sensible thing which is stay offline and lie low for the day, this complete moron went online to Facebook and decided to brag to everyone about how he had managed to fool his manager. So he duly updated his Facebook status :

Kyle D. is not going to work, f**k it I’m still trashed. SICKIE WOO!

What he had forgotten in his post-drunken idiotic joy is that his manager is one of his Facebook buddies and so this new update immediately flashed up on the manager’s screen.  Kyle was then contacted and asked for a doctor’s note to prove that he really was ill.

“My leave was due to medical reasons, so you cannot deny leave based on a line manager’s discretion, with no proof,” he argues in a second message.

The manager’s reply is brief:

“I believe the proof that you are after is below”.

And he attachs the following :

It was at that point that the company announced an “internal investigation” (of what? It all looks pretty clear cut to me) and Kyle was instantly overwhelmed with messages of support and love from his colleagues.  The tributes just flowed in non-stop.

“There’s a lot of sh*t going down this morning!”

“you know you’re a legend …. but you’re so stupid.”

“So what? Call centre staff need to be drunk to put up with everyone’s crap”

“Isn’t being trashed reason enough not to be at work?”

Oh and when Kyle realized that his devilishly cunning plan had failed, what did he do?   Did he weep?  Did he apologize?   Did he beg for a second chance?   Nope.   His response to his manager was :

“HAHAHA LMAO epic fail. No worries man.”

Watch out for Kyle D’s future political campaign.   Do no work, lie to everyone, and get drunk all the time?  I can tell he will fit right in.