By Mark O’Neill
Contributing Writer, [GAS]

OK, now I really have heard everything!

The Israeli city of Petah Tikva is seemingly fed up with all the doggie poop lying around on their streets.   So their solution is to set up a dog poop DNA database.   To build this, all the dog owners of the city are being asked to take their canine pals into the local vet to have their dog’s mouth swabbed.   Rover or Tiddles can then have their DNA information entered into the computer.

From that point on, whenever Rover or Tiddles does his or her poop business, the owner can pick it up and put it into one of the specially marked bins on Petah Tikva’s streets.  If they do that, they will be instantly eligible for doggie prizes such as pet foot coupons and dog toys!   Sounds like a game show doesn’t it?  “Congratulations!   You and Fido have won the Poop Show!   Let’s see what you have won tonight….oooh, a juicy bone!”

If on the other hand, your dog does their business and you decide to leave it on the street, then the Israeli Poop Mossad will come kicking in your door in the middle of the night and issue you with a hefty fine.   No coupons or toys for you!   Twinkles won’t be able to lower her bottom onto that piece of grass ever again!  Oh the disgrace!

This unique Israeli project serves to remind you of one thing.  Whenever you think your job sucks, remember that somewhere in Petah Tikva, someone is opening bags of dog poop and comparing them to DNA in a database to find out which dog it belongs to!

Suddenly your job doesn’t feel so bad does it?